Pregnancy Results

We are not pregnant. I know, not what you wanted to hear. Us either!

It was really hard to believe. I don't think I really believed it until the next day. I would rather not believe it. I am super disappointed and am hurting for M & L. Part of me wants answers. Did I do something? Could I have done something different? What happened? Why didn't it happen? I don't really need answers to those questions because I know this is all in Gods hands and is all in His timing.

Anyway, like I said before God has shown Himself to be working in our lives through this shared journey. I am holding fast to the knowledge that His plan is so much bigger and better than we could ever imagine.

but those who hope in the LORD

will renew their strength.

They will soar on wings like eagles;

they will run and not grow weary,

they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:13

Update

"You are the God who performs miracles; You display Your power among the peoples." Psalm 77:14

Last week when there was only one egg removed the doctor said we had a 5% chance of making it to transfer and pregnancy. Those were some devastating odds, but I can honestly say we all stayed positive and turned to God. We all felt reassurance that if He wanted to make this happen he could and would. And if it wasn't supposed to happen it wouldn't. I kept feeling like God was showing us how good He is by orchestrating things so perfectly.

Let me explain.... First, it has always concerned me that there would be more than one embryo transferred. It made me nervous because I didn't really want to carry multiples. Not that I wouldn't but it just wasn't exactly something I really desired. M & L did not want multiples. Not that they wouldn't love them, just not what they really desired.

Secondly, there is always the moral dilemma of having "left over" embryos. If there are eight eggs retrieved and 6 of them fertilize and start growing into embryos the parents have to make the decision of what to do with the embryos that are not used. M & L will not have to go through that. God gave them the perfect amount to make one child.

Yesterday we went into the clinic and got some great news. The embryo was of good quality and was strong. We transferred the embryo and went back to the hotel and laid around and watched movies..lots of movies.

I am back home now. I have a new schedule of medication and injections to take for the next two weeks. I am going to go in on Tuesday to get blood draw to get a baseline of my HCG levels. Then I will go in on Thursday for another HCG test that will determine if we are pregnant.

Even if we don't get pregnant I feel God has blessed this shared journey in so many obvious ways and I want to thank Him and praise Him for revealing Himself to us these past two weeks.

We Have an Embryo!

With only retrieving one egg we were taking a big chance on coming to St. Louis before knowing whether or not it was going to be transferable to me. We got a call this morning from the doctor that we have an embryo! Praise the Lord! We are beside ourselves with excitement. I am truly in awe. I will go in today at 12:30 for the transfer.

Transfer

I leave tomorrow with L for St. Louis. We will do the transfer on Monday.

They were only able to retrieve one egg from L on Friday. It was kind of a disappointing day but we all stayed positive. We know that if God wants this to happen He can make it happen. We got a call this morning that the egg was fertilized and was now separating. On Monday the embryo will be three days old and ready to transfer to me.

I will have to stay in bed for the remainder of the day on Monday, after the transfer is complete . We will head home early Tuesday, where it will back to "normal" life. In approx. ten days from the transfer I will take a blood test to see if we are pregnant.

Decision

Some of you may know about the process I have been going through and some of you may have heard the last blog entry from my Wiggy 5 family blog and nothing more. Sorry!

We did end up finding a family that we wanted to help out of the three that were presented to us. We felt like God made it VERY clear who the family was. Since then we have have been preparing hearts, minds and bodies for this amazing journey.

I fully understand that some of you reading this may feel that what we are doing is not right, not good, weird, or scary. We respect those feelings and are open to hearing your thoughts and concerns. My hope is that through this blog I will be able to chronicle everything and through that everyone will gain more information about what we are going through. I don't want to change anyone's mind about how they feel about surrogacy. I do however want people to be able to feel connected if they want and stay updated during this huge event in our lives.

First Steps

Growing up my family fostered new born babies. Now with all the changes in adoption there really is no need for the kind of foster care we gave to babies. Adoptions are all open, with birth parents and adoptive parents knowing one another. It was always such an amazing feeling the day the new parents came to pick up the baby from our house. It was their delivery day. They would have a new outfit for the baby to go home in, just like parents do at the hospital. They would be overwhelmed with joy and crying tears of happiness. You couldn't help but cry and share in their overwhelming excitement.

Which brings me to my desire to be a gestational surrogate. I have been talking about doing something like this for several years now. What an amazing gift to be able to give a family who can not have children. Since Rachel has been born Matt and I have been discussing it more seriously and doing more research. We didn't come up with much until a family in our church became a surrogate for some one else. I got the chance to talk to someone first hand. That was almost a year ago and still nothing. No opportunities, no contact with potential parents.

About three weeks ago I was praying about it. I became resolved with myself and with God, that if it was going to happen He would make it happen. I decided that I wasn't going to seek it out anymore and I wasn't going to worry about it.Out of the blue, I have received requests from three different families looking for a gestational surrogate, in the past two days. I have talked with two of the families. Both seem to be great people. But talking to the families is just the first step of many to come. Matt and I are praying God would lead our path to the right family. We are really looking forward to being able to help a family out, but want to make sure it is all with in Gods will.